I have only one New Year's resolution for 2014.
Listen. Don't just wait to speak. I have honestly never even tried to do this. Even though I'm known by many as a "good listener", I still know deep down inside that I'm waiting to weigh in on the topic at hand. I'm mostly listening, but at the same time I'm formulating my response, which isn't really listening at all.
I tell my kids, "You're not listening to me! Pay attention!"
I tell my husband, "You don't have to say anything, just listen to what I say without interrupting."
I look online for tips on "Getting your kids to listen to you".
I wonder, "Is God listening?", mostly when I'm not getting what I want.
Sometimes I complain that God never speaks to me; I never feel led one way or the other; I'm on my own here.
The real question is, am I listening? Can I even shut up long enough to listen to anyone else, including God? It can be noisy and chaotic in a house with four kids, two of them being infants. It is hard to listen, but I recognize that I should be giving my best effort, not "mm hm-ing" at my family as they're speaking and I'm doing something else. I need to stop, sit down, look them in the eye, and listen.
With God, this is even harder, because the battle is in my mind. I'm thinking of other things, even while I'm trying to pray. And listening? Being still and waiting? Without falling asleep or making lists in my head? This is no small task, no easy resolution, nothing that can be completed by January 30th, like cleaning out a closet or joining a gym.
It is a matter of ~
~ Quieting myself
~ Being still
~ Receiving what is being said to me
~ Controlling my inner thoughts
~ Making sure the other person knows they are being heard
Yikes, going to the gym every day seems like a walk in the park by comparison. I'll let you know how it's going, if I learn anything along the way, or if I stumble. Wish me luck, I'm taking a deep breath and...